Christian Bale is the hottest hunka testosterone on the planet


I adore Christian Bale. It was love at first sight in “American Psycho,” and typical of so many men, he just gets better and better with age. Bastard! Plus he seems to be one of the good guys who stays monogamous, having been married for over a decade. But not to me. Double bastard!

I’m sure many ladies love his Adonis physique in “American Psycho,” or the dapper Bruce Wayne in his suits, but I like him rough around the edges. Scraggy hair and beard in “3:10 to Yuma?” Oh yeah. Now he has a new movie coming out, playing a decidedly blue collar-type character with plenty of rough edges and fake tattoos.

I’m giddy… giddy, I tell you.

Check out the trailer for his new movie, “Out of the Furnace”: It’s the Batman against the Natural Born Killer, Woody Harrelson (who I also adore, but hey, Bale trumps everyone.)

 Please cuddle with me, Batman. Please?

Speaking of Batman — the most unbelievable thing about the Batman movies is that no one has recognized Bruce Wayne’s rather, uh, “distinctive” lips. Not that I’ve spent a lot of time looking at them. Or staring at them. Longingly.

Sure, if you walk into his line of vision while he’s watching television, he may go on a ballistic rant, but I wouldn’t hear a word he said, because I’d just be smiling and watching his lips move.